Always So Calm and Cool
by TrixieKrueger
Summary: There was one housemate absent from Trudy's goodbye. Most in attendance assumed it was because he didn't care at all, but maybe it was because he cared too much. Jerome centric. Set in S1. One shot.


**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything.

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Jerome tore the door to his room open and slammed it shut just as frantically_—and forcefully_. If not for the rage bubbling inside him, he might have been impressed by the way he had managed to do that in one fluid motion. It was after all, a skill he had been developing for years to escape housemates, classmates, and even Victor when his pranks went awry. But it wasn't one of those pranks that brought him to this point. Not today.

His morning thus far had gone by heartbreaking fast, following an agonizingly long sleepless night. He probably should not have assumed that Alfie was already in the thick of his morning routine. A clearer thinking Jerome would not have been as careless as to not check the time, but if he were being honest with himself, Alfie didn't really matter right now either way. No one did.

The thud from behind him, accompanied with a "PLEASE DON'T ABDUCT US!" told him it was too late to consider Alfie's whereabouts. Jerome froze in hopes that he would drift back into sleep and he could avoid the confrontation.

No such luck.

"Owww! …Jerome? What was that for?!"

His jaw clinched in further agitation before he turned on his heels to face an expectant Alfie. The scene that came into his view—Alfie tangled in his bedding _on the floor_—made him crack the slightest bit of grin for the first time since the night before. He quickly wiped it off his face when Alfie scowled at him.

The tall blonde directed his attention off of his best friend. He knew he wouldn't be able to have this particular conversation if he were looking at him. Jerome was well versed in putting on an act and without hesitation it was decided that a far off look towards the ceiling would set the stage quite nicely.

The grin returned, albeit not genuine this time.

"Oh nothing," Jerome replied airily with a wave of his hand, "just trying to shake the mood out of this place. You'd think someone _died _the way everyone's moping around this morning." He shook his head in mock disapproval for good measure, chancing a look at his gullible friend.

Alfie's mouth dropped open in disbelief._ Got him._

"Jerome! We're not joking around about Joy anymore; this is _Trudy _we're talking about! Aren't you going to miss her? Or well, you know, at least the cooking…"

Jerome took in a sharp breath at the mention of her name. He paused for just a moment to both build the tension ever so slightly for Alfie and to calm the feelings creeping up on him.

"Well?!" Alfie blurted even more eagerly than before. The tall blonde rolled his eyes. _Always predictable._

"Look Alfie," he began, eyes locked on his target needing all the sincerity he could muster, "you can't just go around getting attached to everyone you meet. Sooner or later you will _always_ have to say goodbye whether you like it or not. In just a few years from now, _we _would be the ones leaving Trudy. It was going to happen eventually. No attachment, no emotion."

He shrugged, always aware that his body language needed to match his words if he were to be believable. If only Alfie knew that his speech was for Jerome himself more so than it was for him.

A look of confusion crossed Alfie's face. "So…I guess that's a 'no' then?" he asked way too slowly for Jerome's liking.

He let out a deep sigh having been done with this conversation before it had even started. "Yes. I'll miss her. But that's life, mate. No need to quit living."

Jerome got his much needed chance to look away as his best friend seemed to be mulling over his words. Something must have clicked for him as he had finally gotten up from the floor and plastered a goofy smile across his face. The lanky boy returned his attention to Alfie at his movement and was relieved to see him smiling.

"You're right! You're good man, always so calm and cool!" Alfie clapped him on the shoulder.

Jerome forced a cocky smile and nodded in affirmation as he opened the door and gestured Alfie out.

"You'd better start getting ready so you can attend the cry fest with the lot of them. I've already given Trudy my best wishes; I won't be subjecting myself to that mess."

_Probably because I'm attending my own._

"Alright man, I'll give her one last hug for you too!" Alfie said a little too cheerily as Jerome closed the door behind him.

And that was the breaking point.

He leaned his forehead against the door, teeth clenched, trying to stay as quiet as he could. A few boiling tears spilled out against his pale skin and he cursed their mere existence. When he was certain Alfie had put enough distance between himself and the door, he finally let out a shaky breath.

Trudy was the only person in the house that had ever seen Jerome cry_—not that it happens often_—and he intended to keep it that way. He had learned the night before that Victor had fired her, effectively destroying what little life he had left. As alone and without love as he was before, it was now tenfold. Trudy _was _his mother for these last ten years after his own had shut him out of her life.

He was watching his mum walk out on him _again_.

That revelation was exactly what brought him to this sad scene he was now caught up in.

He ran his hands back through his long mane, tugging gently as they reached its ends. A sob strangled out from his throat and suddenly it didn't matter who heard him.

Jerome was a wreck.

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**A/N**:_ I just found this in my files so I finished it up…I didn't have an account when I wrote it in season 1. I used to write Jerome before Peddie. I'll still be writing Peddie…just wanted to publish this one._


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